The loneliest and suddenly wanted to find a sense of achievement in life.

It is finally after office hour . For a minute , I think I was useless . Demoralised by the words .
But Thank God , I got a crap daddy who reply and tell me crap to keep my head above water while I am drowning .

I feel sad that I found some passion is what I am doing . Yes , Now I am setting a apache , I want to set apache on my own and do something like what ST does . A Wiki media that allow people to troubleshoot all thier problem online .

Although I was greatly discouraged , discouraged by  circumstances , things in life . I feel unhealthy , I thought back of yesterday , I thought of the past . I cursed the lord , Send MAss email to my preacher , Curse sister bee choo who had abandoned me . And I feel downcast .

I start to hate been christian because my previous boss is a christian and he let me down alot . He is a preacher .  He asked me to lie and cahoots with non christian to cheat company . My interigty couldnt do that .
But then I move on . I felt not wanted . I wonder why am i always attracting or these . These recent cases of SMS and what app from my current boss and people unset me alot .

I hate myself that i had debts to clear .

I hate myself for seeing so many doctors .

I hate mr xxx who always jokes and then his wife took the matter overhand and start stalking me at my facebook .

I hate that I got insomia every night .
I wake up every 3 hours . I tell my doctor and he basically doesnt want to put me on sleeping pills as he think I will abuse it . "Abuse  it as it means .. U know ...."

What are things you like?
I dont know . A kind friend asked me . I told him , Maybe Dogs . working in SPCA . But I drag reading stories of how beautiful kind dogs are abused .

Now I am listening to anthony Hymns . It is brought in australia .
Gill , You know I miss those times when I was in melbourne . Athought that was the period I wish I had died there , but you help me through . The life journey seem so tough on me .
I am like walking on broken glass everyday .
I am sad that I had to not talk to MR xxx coz  His wife will get paranoid . I dont understand why a victim can turn into ... a slut ...and ..whatever......
Let hope the law attraction attract good things to me . I could complete what I wanted to complete
to do proud to all . To jesus christ ... To .......................................

My existence .... I wonder why I am existing every minute